Jan 24, 2009

The Folly Of Action Group Meetings


I was the host tonight of a BCBP Action Group Meeting which we hold once every week to different households of each member couple. It is a fellowship community where my wife and I recently joined to worship Christ and commune with other members as well. Yes we had the usual stuff of studying the Bible and of course the personal sharing.

When the sharing started based on the reflections we had on a verse from the Bible, my wife and I had only a little over five minutes to say our part because the other couple took almost an hour to say their piece!

After the session, the host will normally serve food for the guest and we did. Since I am the host, I thought I will have the opportunity to share more and run the group's conversation. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. I was almost quiet that evening because their 'chit-chats' never seem to cut and it's difficult getting in between their conversations. I however tried to manage my way twice to get through and start to say my piece. Yes, they stopped and listened for a few seconds then they just smiled back. Immediately after that, they shot back and continued on  as if I did not talk at all or I wasn't there. I was not even asked for my opinion.

Sensing that it was hopeless for me to join their conversation, I just retracted and kept silent the whole night. Now, how is that for a group sharing?!

My advice:

I have only few advices to give to these people and I know it's not that difficult...

  1. that they should listen more than they talk,
  2. give time for others to talk,
  3. and, be kind to the host to run the show - it's their house anyway!

I'd say that this is complete disregard and therefore disrespectful to my authority as a host. I felt that my house was turned into a cheap restaurant and I am the waiter!

With this, I am very,very disappointed. Sorry guys.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

1 comment:

sarrie said...

I admire your bravado for voicing out such reaction. I have gotten the notion that such reactions are taboo in the community. We have been told to just "bite our tongue" when we are confronted with unpleasant situations or to just pray off our disappointments. But indeed, I admire your courage for speaking out what you feel.
But I'm just curious. didn't your chapter undergo the AGLs training where AGLs were oriented on their responsibilities? The AGLs are supposed to be the moderators, the captain of the ship. It is their task to see to it that members observe proper sharing decorum: no semonizing; no teaching no interrupting, no follow-up comments, no exchanges of responses, feedbacks and the like. or if such exchanges can't be avoided, they should be kept to the barest minimum. It's the AGLs lookout that every member of the AGM gets his fair share of sharing time. I am also disappointed that the Mancom painstakingly take to task formulating guidelines and improving existing ones only to have their significance lost in the process of cascading to the smallest units, the AGs. In the mean time, we cn only take comfort in prayers.